Coming Soon to a River Near You

Picked up the phone around 4PM yesterday, knowing full well the gist of what I was about to hear. It was T-bone on the other side, and he and Heavy D had been out a couple hours on a local stream. T-bone said, and I quote, "Let the Chromage Begin!!!" Wow...begin indeed, complete with a douchy catch phrase and a shit eating grin. All kidding aside though, its always nice to do our part removing the inferior, hatchery drones they call steelhead from our local streams. Somehow a 6 lb chambers creek fish with no dorsal fin can never stack up to a chrome fish double its size with infinitely more soul. Still, the prospect of feeling a steelheads yank after a month of highwater was enough to have The Heavy and myself back out today at a super secret spot in Pugetropolis. Over the years the spot has been pretty good to us despite the river's general tendency to be devoid of fish, so we thought we'd giver a look.

Weather was heinous, with snow over night, turning to slush, then turning to rain and a thin crust of ice at the rivers edge from a week of subfreezing temps. Still, the water was warmer than it'd been in a while so we figured any fish that were around should be snappy. Had one big yank in some ridiculously froggy water where fish will sit when they're feeling lazy. One spot up there I've never got a fish from but I've been watching it over the years and it seems to be getting fishier. With the low, cold water the structure and speed were perfect and I hooked a bright fish on the red and purple GP, sucker came unpinned after a few rolls and headshakes but at least it was a fish. Things are looking up around here or as TBone might say, "Let the Chromage Begin!!!!"

On the Loose in New York...Teen Wolf

15lbs of B-Run Pork. 240 pounds of Man bear pig.

There have been reports of a gigantic, barrel chested, merry making, fly stealing, doctor wanna be, man bear pig on the loose in New York. Lock up your whiskey and your "steelhead" (also known as lake run rainbow trout) east coasters, that fucker's not to be trusted. The Teen Wolf has relocated to New York state for a few years of hard time behind med school bars with some prospect of going fishing by the time he's 35 years old. After living with the hairy, mess loving, ketchup feeder last year we've really started to miss the SOB and while we are really looking forward to the next few months of living under a bridge in steelhead country it wont be the same without him.

Teen wolf and the Fish hound team up

Teenwolf has been responsible for some pretty awesome hilarity over the last year or two, including one legendary incident resulting in the coining of a now infamous phrase, the "Tennessee Toothbrush". After a tough day steelheading on a Washington River known for issuing some pretty harsh beatdowns we were settling, having a few drinks and getting ready to call it a day. Trying to stave off a certain case of mossy teeth, beer mouth, and general vileness the following morning I partook in the dentist recommended activity of brushing my teeth (gotta keep those pearly whites shiny). When I asked TW if he intended to do the same he pointed to a bottle of knob creek sitting next to his sleeping bag, "just gonna swash some of this around, that oughta do the trick." Ahhh, the old Tennessee toothbrush! Another instant classic was the time last year when Teenwolf and I both piled into my tiny achilles raft to access the lower end of the Big Trib, not the most comfortable or the safest float of my life but the other boats we saw had a good laugh. Two dudes whos combined weight is in the neighborhood of 420 (TW is easily 240 of that) lbs in one tiny raft with 3 foot paddles. Super ghey, but funny all the same.

Two dudes in that raft? Not Coastguard Approved

Over here on the westcoast we're all looking forward to the return of our good hearted, degenerate friend and hoping once he's a bonified Dr of the Medicine he'll be around more permanently. Hang tough over there buddy, I know those east coast lake run rainbow trout are sissy but you're resilient.

I Was Going to Fish

Was going to fish today but somehow the prospect of below freezing temps all day, ice filled guides and low numbers of non-grabbing hatchery brats just didn't do it for me. Opted instead for a few hours of work. I must be getting old or something. Guess its better to make reasonable choices like that now, cause I sure as hell wont be when January rolls around and we get a few fish in the rivers.

Fish Meat

I eat fishmeat every chance I get. No wild fish, only hatch doggies and frankly even though I like the stuff if I never ate another salmon again it wouldn't break my heart. Not if they'd take the god forsaken, sack'o'trash, no fin having, death rolling, hatchery turds out of just a couple of rivers. Instead we dump them everywhere, spending millions of dollars annually on ineffective, hatchery wellfare. And most of the jims who love those hatcheries spend half their free time bitching about government handouts and welfare for the lazy. pssh.

Still a man does love that sweet smoked belly meat. the crispy skin post barbeque. When I'm camped out sometimes I'll just eat it with salt, pepper and some bar-b sauce. swear to god its the tastiest thing since tater-tots. Then sometimes we get fancy with the pan fried steelhead cakes, meltin in your mouth like damn I love heart attacks. oh boy, better check the back of the freezer, I might still have a filet or two.

Teenwolf and T-bone modeling the summer fashions. meat on a stick style

This one goes out to T-bone, keep practicing your Scottish accent buddy. The trailer is pretty heady with its dramatic music, panning helicopter shots and seriously unnecessary 15 second aerialized load. Still after meeting Scott last May at the Sandy I can say with certainty he doesn't take him self as seriously as the video might lead you to believe. That said, the dude can drop serious bombs. Plus with his Scottish accent he's gotta be a good fisherman right?

Fishing Buddies

Living under a bridge in steelhead country isn't exactly the most conducive lifestyle to making friends, and for the most part I prefer fishing alone, the Steelhead Dog is all the companionship I need. If you're like me and you hate fishing on the weekends if you can avoid it, it can be pretty tough finding anyone who's schedule jibes with yours to get out with. Fishing alone gives us the opportunity to completely escape the noise of our day to day interactions, the fake social customs, and the contrived BS most of us go through at our workplace from time to time (not that I work).

That said, fishing with a partner isn't all bad, and over the years I've met and fished with some pretty cool folks. Whether I've known them for years or just met them recently, fishing buddies really are a diverse cast of characters. The different personalities, opinions (fishing, political, otherwise), and backgrounds make them all unique. Since the steelhead bug bit I've been lucky to come across some pretty cool people who were willing to help me along, and some others who were just getting started in this ridiculous pursuit. The trash talking, beer swilling, meat eating group of he man wanna be, spey casting, bums I spend most of time are a pretty interesting cast of characters. Most of them are pretty crafty fishermen, and can be downright hilarious to boot.

All that is a lead up to saying that occasionally on this here blog I'll be devoting some time to one of my fishing buddies. A way of appreciating the folks that make the life of an otherwise solitary angler more lively. You've already been introduced to a few of these mangy bastards in previous posts but this will be a little more formal like.

Fishing Tomorrow

Finally. Maybe then I wont have to release my nonfishing angst on this drivel writing I call a blog. I hope for all your sake's that's the case. Its now been over two weeks since my last outing I think, cant remember because its been so long. This time of year in the Lower Mainland I fully expect a skunk but who knows. There has to be at least one steelhead in The Cheddar right now